The adventurers arrive at the Swallowtail Festival in time for the introductory speeches, where they discover that Lonjiku Kaijitsu was scheduled to speak but has failed to show up.
The first goblin rushes forward and Scotty swings at it, but misses and seriously damages his sword. Scrambles, true to his “Death Dealer” nickname, kills the goblin with a powerful splash of acid. One goblin is pierced by an arrow from Gwinner, while Fred sees another looting an overturned cart. He swings his club at the back of its skull, which explodes like an overripe watermelon.
Scotty misses on another attack, but Scrambles and Gwinner continue their assault successfully. Fred throws his club in a goblin’s face, breaking its nose. He proceeds to kill the goblin with one punch and rips off its skull to wear as a gauntlet.
There is a short lull while the adventurers regroup, but soon a second wave of goblins floods the square. Gwinner sinks another arrow deep into one, killing it. Fred throws his club at a goblin as Scotty charges at it. Both miss. Instead of being intimidated by seeing the head of their compatriot worn as an accessory, the goblins seem to find Fred’s new armor rather amusing — even hilarous. Fred runs to his club and, in one swift motion, launches it into a nearby goblin’s balls. Dino follows suit and clamps his jaws down on the poor fool’s dong, severing it and killing him. In order to stop him from eating it, Fred ties the goblin knob to length of rope from a discarded whip, fashioning a collar.
With the square cleared of attackers, the party heads toward the northern gate of Sandpoint, where they find Aldern Foxglove cornered by more goblins, one riding a goblin-dog. Fred kills one of the beasts with a pimp slap that echoes back through the town. With all but one goblin dispatched in various brutal fashions, the remaining creature is intimidated into confessing that they were sent by a humanoid, possibly an elf, and that their plan involved a graveyard.
The troupe rushes back to Sandpoint Cathedral and investigates the graveyard to see that the tomb of Azakian Tobyn, the previous priest, has been robbed. The footprints leading to and from the tomb indicate six goblins and the humanoid who was presumed to be leading the heist. Fred steps forward to enter the tomb and is knocked unconscious by a skeleton. His fellow adventurers bravely come to his aid and kill the skeleton, along with others that lay hidden in the tomb waiting to ambush anyone who entered. Inside the tomb, it is discovered that Azakian Tobyn’s remains are missing. The adventurers head back to town to rest and discuss the day’s events.